GAINING MY INDEPENDENCE

By Lisa Bonner

So much has changed in the last year, not only my body, but I have also changed emotionally and spiritually.  One year ago today, July 4, 2012, there were so many things that I never dreamed of doing let alone trying.  My food addiction brought me so far down that I didn’t even realize that I had lost control over everything good in my life.  You might think to yourself that my problem is different than yours or someone that you know, but if you use food to make yourself feel better or manage your emotions, this is you.  I was looking on the computer and ran across the Skinny Gene website.  Somewhere down in my soul, I heard a voice urging me to reach out for help, but I didn’t really think anyone would contact me.  But Marlayna Bollinger took that first step and did reach out to me.  During our conversation I found encouragement, compassion, and I began to believe that maybe I could change.   Nancy Juarez, whom I will call my Life-i-tician, contacted me and the challenge began.

Even though Nancy assured me that she would help me learn how to be a healthier person I was very skeptical that I could change.  It was much more comfortable just keeping my life the way that it had been.   Nancy told me that it would not always be easy, and sometimes it hasn’t been, but I can honestly tell you that with the Skinny Gene program I have never been hungry.  That was one of my biggest fears, that and admitting that I had a problem with food.  There were weeks that I broke down and ate things that I shouldn’t have, but Nancy and my Skinny Gene Family were always supportive and got me back on track.

 1 YEAR LATER

So, here I am today, 1 year later, 87 pounds lighter and feeling so good about myself.

My journey towards freedom! Left- The old me. Middle- After losing 68 lbs, I’m beginning to “take control of me”. Right- At my missions trip in AL, I’ve shed 87 lbs and I’m finally feeling “free”!

The weight was just a way to hide myself away from the feelings that I did not want to deal with.  I have gained the energy to play with my kids, sometimes even beat them in a bike race, jogged/walked in a 5K benefit race, go to Zumba class, and just 2 weeks ago started riding a bike at least 2 miles a day.  But most importantly, I am in control of what I eat!  There are occassions that I choose to eat pizza, or sweets, but the difference now is that I am making a conscious choice to do so.  Nancy has given me the tools that I need to control my life.  One of the most blessed parts of my journey is that I have joined my life again.  Before I was so tired when I came home from work, I didn’t really participate in life to the fullest; it was just passing me by.

I am excited to say that I went on a mission’s trip for a week with our church to Wilmer, Alabama.  While we were there, guess where my job duties were. You are right, I was asked to work in the kitchen.   But despite the many temptations, and the fact that I wasn’t in control of the food choices,  I managed  to only gain 3 pounds back.

I would never have gone if I had not changed my life, because obesity is not only about fat you are carrying, but a bigger burden is the shame that weighs you down.

PAYING IT FORWARD

I will forever celebrate Independence Day as my own personal independence, because now I am free!  I can accomplish anything that I set out to do.  The only limits I have are the ones I set for myself.  I plan on continuing to ride, walk, swim, and serve others until God reveals other plans for me.  He led me to Skinny Gene, Marlayna, and Nancy.  Granted if you decide to take the path I have gone down, it will not be easy, you will have to work at it, but I promise you will never be alone.  You will have God( if you choose) and 3 guardian angels, Marlayna, Nancy , and myself( if you would like to talk to me).  I believe in paying it forward and would be so humbled to provide inspiration, friendship or whatever to someone that needs encouragement.

If you are someone that has their life under control, but has the monetary means to help someone else, I am pleading with you to do so.  You have the ability to literally save someone elses life.  If I had not found the Skinny Gene Project, I would never have been motivated to change my life.  I have not finished my journey. I still have some pounds to go, but I know that I will make it, because I believe in myself.  My Skinny Gene Family will continue to be part of my life even after I reach my goal. Hopefully I can have some part in helping someone else.  My family has also been a very important part of my journey.  If I had not had the support of my Mama, husband and wonderful children, it would have been much more difficult.  But they have also reaped the rewards of my efforts, because they exercise more, eat better, and enjoy a much happier home life.

I have many dreams for the future, and things I want to accomplish, and have no doubt that I can.   Find someone or something that inspires you and never give up.  I found inspiration in the words to a song by Miley Cyrus.  Somehow I just connected to the song and I would like to share some of the words with you, because it continues to keep me focused…..

The struggles I am facing 

The chances I am taking

Sometimes might knock me down but

No I ‘m not breaking

I may not know it but

These are the moments that

I’m gonna remember most

Just gotta keep going

And I gotta be strong

Just keep pushing on

There’s always gonna be another mountain

I am always gonna want to make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I am going to have to lose

Aint about how fast I get there

Aint about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s The Climb

Thanks again Marlayna, Nancy, and the Skinny Gene Family for all your love and support.  Thanks for making The Climb with me.

MY GOAL

My next goal is to participate in a timed 5K, and that is what I am working towards.  I am hoping to participate in the 5K  portion of the San Diego Half Marathon & 5k on March 9, 2014.  This race gives 100% of its net proceeds to chosen charities. The Skinny Gene Project is one of these charities, so I am hoping to be there myself, running beside them.  That is my most important goal for the next year, to know that I am capable of finishing something that big.

My cup runneth over!

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We, the Skinny Gene Family, are so incredibly proud of what Lisa has achieved.  Her hard work and determination are an inspiration to us all!  Please join us in congratulating Lisa  by leaving her an encouraging comment below.

Lisa’s Skinny Gene program is made possible by health-minded people like YOU!  Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to continue supporting Lisa’s program, as well as other very deserving members of our community who need our help “gaining their independence” and living a healthier life.

Disclaimer: The weight loss testimonial presented is applicable to the individual depicted and are not a guarantee of your weight loss nor are they typical.

We are very proud of Lisa. If you are too, please leave an encouraging comment for her below.

Lisa’s Story

I did not wake up one morning only to discover I was overweight, I had known it for a long time.  It happened so gradually that I didn’t even realize it was happening until it was too late.  I felt no longer in control, not only of my weight, but my life, food controls me I didn’t know how to stop it, do I want to stop it ?  My eating had become a part of me, part of who I was, could I change?  Food was once a friend, comforter, de-stresser, but it had evolved into my biggest enemy, it had become the stress.  How do I change something that  has become such a part of my life ?

The “old me”

I remember the day I found the Skinny Gene Project on the computer, I was searching for a solution to a problem that I was not sure could be fixed.  Obesity is a problem that fills one’s soul with self-doubt, and the ability to see a way out of the cycle that wants to suck you farther and farther away from a solution.  But somewhere inside I was desperate to reach out to someone, anyone that might know or understand the desperation that I lived with everyday, I needed to share and reach out to someone that might keep me from falling farther into the deep abyss of failing myself, and everyone that loved me.

You see that fear of failure is what keeps you in the neverending addiction to food.  I was an addict !

At first I used the food for comfort, celebration and any excuse I could use to get the “High” that I felt when I ate food that I loved.  But, as time went on, and pounds, the food I craved, I craved to calm the fears and hurt that I felt because of the things I ate.  I know it doesn’t make sense to everyone, only the people that have my addiction. But, could I risk allowing someone to know my fears of another failure?  Because if you don’t try, than you don’t fail.

I had tried hundreds of diets, lost the same 30 pounds over and over, only to end up gaining more weight and being heavier than when I started.  Left with feelings of deep guilt for failing myself and those that loved me, and lack of self “CONTROL“. Not that I realized it at that moment, but that was the root of everything ” CONTROL“.

Being overweight you learn to make jokes about yourself, comments about your weight, and every excuse you can think of to deflect the hurt and anger I felt towards myself.  Was I worth saving?  Was I worth the effort?  Would the Skinny Gene Project even want to help me?

I had not realized how sad, insecure, and betrayed I was by what my body had become, but inside I wanted to try again. I really doubted that anyone would even contact me, they didn’t know me, why would they help me when I was no longer even able to help myself ?  I received an email from someone telling me that a dietitian would contact me for an evaluation in a few days.  My past experience had taught me that the phone call was going to be one of dread, blame, more self-doubt, and more shame.  The 253 pounds on my body was what defined me, that was the only thing most people saw, that was the only thing that I could see when I looked at myself.

When Nancy Juarez called and spoke with me there was no shame, no finger pointing, no blame, just compassion for me and what I had become.  She listened to me, not just about what I ate or didn’t eat, she listened to what I was saying, but more importantly heard all the things that I would not allow myself to tell anyone, she knew.  She listened to me with such compassion, such a caring spirit that I wanted to share more and more about what I wanted to become instead of just focusing on what my body was.  I was so excited when she wanted to help me, soon I began to feel some empowerment over myself.  She believed in me when I was not yet able to believe in myself.

I started the program on July 4th of this year.  It was truly Independence Day for me.  With Nancy’s help I decided to leave the past in the past, and we would begin the journey to a new me together.  If not for the Skinny Gene Project, and Nancy Juarez, I truly don’t know what I would be today.  Don’t think that I am finished in my journey by any means, but I am on my way to what I want my body to be.  Nancy has given me the tools and knowledge to make smart choices for myself.  But of the utmost importance she has given me back the control over myself, which is what I have been seeking for so long.

Nancy  Juarez may be a dietitian to most, but she is my LIFE-a-tician , because that is what she has done is give me the knowledge to take my life back.  She continues to work with me on making good choices of what to eat, but she helped me to find myself again.  I look forward to our weekly conversations of encouragement and empowerment. She has given me the courage and self-confidence to know that I will reach my goal.  Lord knows that I have not been the most perfect student, but when I falter there is no blame or guilt she just says ” Well let’s get back on track you know you can do it, and if you don’t know you can, I know you can.”  That has given me the ability to get back on track and move forward.

In Control of “ME” (11/29/2012)

I have lost 68 pounds so far and am continuing towards my goal.  Sometimes it is 2 steps forward and one step back, but I will continue to fight for what I want.  Nancy has been an important part of my losing weight, but she can’t do it for me. I have to do my part with eating right and exercise, but without Nancy and the Skinny Gene Project believing in me and reaching out, I know that I would have never been able to start, because I truly did not know how to help myself.

Supporting the Skinny Gene Project is very important because I know that there are many people out there that are just like I was.  Waiting for someone to reach out and provide a lifeline to someone who is lost in the chaos that is obesity.  By supporting the Skinny Gene Project you truly are providing people with a chance to start new and become the person that they want to be.  I will do my part by continuing to move forward towards my goal and perhaps I can help someone along the way by giving them hope and the will to try.  If it were not for the Skinny Gene Project and Nancy Juarez, I would still be lost and alone.

If I can help one person to know that they are not alone, that people do care and will help, than it is worth every minute of exercise and sacrifice that I have made to become someone that I respect, love, and empower.  ME.  I am worth it, I am a good person, I am not alone and you don’t have to be either. You can do it, you are worthy, just believe in yourself.  I believe in you and so will Nancy.  I am happy because I am finally back in CONTROL of who I am.

Lisa

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If you would like to speak with Nancy about gaining control of your health, please click here to schedule a free nutrition appointment (via phone).

Disclaimer: The weight loss testimonial presented is applicable to the individual depicted and are not a guarantee of your weight loss nor are they typical.